CALIFORNIA TO BE CHARGED WITH MURDER

Arizona’s Attorney General, Terry Goddard, has threatened to charge the Bears with capital murder charges.

PEOPLE OF THE STATE OF ARIZONA VS CALIFORNIA

The Attorney General of the State of Arizona, Tom Goddard, took the unusual steps today of filing capital murder charges against the California Golden Bears football team. This before the alleged attack has even taken place.

“I felt that in light of the murderous tendencies of this football team on ASU and Arizona, this merited the preemptive action. Last year California massacred Arizona 28-0. Many of the Arizonan's never even made it home."

The anger still resonates amongst local Arizonan's. Jimmy Castro, a retired Arizona rancher lost a son in Berkeley last year. "We gonna (sp) make them sums (sp) ah bitches pay!"

California Attorney General Bill Lockyer vowed to commit all resources available to him to defend the Bears.


In other news relating to the case, California Attorney General Bill Lockyer said any attempts to charge the Bears would prove fruitless.

“This game is in California this year, and I would be dead before I would allow any extradition of this Bear team."

He went on to ad, "The Bears are a great asset to our state, the Governor and I, and I believe the Californian people, stand firmly behind them. Not only in the football arena, but the legal arena as well!”

Governor SCHWARZENEGGER was spotted flying into Oakland earlier this afternoon. He apparently wanted to meet personally with both Coach Tedford and Sandy Barbour to ensure them the charges are bogus, and not recognized by the State of California.

Governor Swarzenegger threatened to pardon the team outright, along with the coaching staff. Such a move would be unprecedented. Many liberal pundits cite it as a gimmick to attract the liberal vote.

Meanwhile rumors are abound that the California team will take no prisoners so at to leave no witnesses in potential future legal proceedings.

STAY - TUNED

FURTHER COVERAGE PENDING