GOVERNOR TEDFORD

SUMMARILY SUSPENDS ELECTIONS

Governor Tedford announced to state media that elections would be canceled by way of executive order. Military preparedness was immediately lowered to DEFCON 3. DEFCON 3 was not ordered until 10/08/05 in the previous campaign. After being at DEFCOM 5, many military commanders fear DEFCOM 1 may be necessary for the first time since 11/12/05.

STREETS CALM IN BERKELEY

FOR NOW

Governor Tedford announced today that he would suspended elections for QB of Cal and would instead appoint Nate Longshore. The executive order prompted resistance from some of the more liberal and democratic leaning elements within the Territory. With the official announcement, Governor Tedford has effectively ended the Territories gradual move towards partial democracy.

Voters turned out in large numbers for campaign 2006. Their votes effectively never happened with the announcement by Governor Tedford that elections were suspended.

The people of the Territory had turned out in surprisingly large numbers to vote. Early returns put senior Steve Levy as the clear favorite of the people. However, this is not the first time the military junta has rebuked the will of the people.

Many observers believe the Governor disregarded the will of the people because it was held within the inner circles of Strawberry Canyon that the move would not spark the sort of riots witnessed last year. Those protests eventually led the leadership of Strawberry Canyon to install Steve Levy.

Residents of Bear Territory had mixed feelings, highlighting the fact that this is an extremely contentious issue that could eventually threaten the government. Said one resident, who along with all residents requested to remain anonymous, “Governor Tedford saved our Territory from destruction, he knows what’s best.

Reports from confidential sources say Oski was visibly shaken after learning the Governor had suspended elections. He learned the news while reading left wing publication Cal Golden Bears.

Others though held a different sentiment, “Governor Tedford has consistently gone against the will of the people. While it may have once been held that this was best for the Territory, that feeling began to disappear during the 2005 campaign. Residents are in fear of collapse of the whole Territory because of the QB issue.”

The effects from the strategic blunder in Tennessee have reverberated throughout the Territory. The fallout from Tennessee had figured to weigh heavily in balloting.

Indeed fear within the Territory has been rising since the Bears were defeated soundly by a mere Volunteer army from Tennessee. “This was supposed to be the year of expanded military expeditions and colonialism in which we made our foray into the south. Not only were we defeated, many good Bears were massacred in the Battle of Neyland. As a result I would say our defensive capabilities in the Pac 10 have been compromised,” said one military commander who wished to remain anonymous.

Whether or not that is true remains to be seen. One thing for sure, however, is that with the announcement of Governor Tedford’s suspension of elections many residents feel their voices are not being heard. As said by one resident, “it is amazing that in places like Iraq and Afghanistan you see the wonderful miracle of democracy taking hold. In the territory, shoot, you see revolutionaries like Seth pushing for reform but our votes are ultimately worthless. The military and the Governor hold ultimate authority, always, period!”

Soccer moms figured to make up a large block of the electorate for the first time in history. With the announcement of government crackdowns, their voices, allong with everyones, go unheard.

Perhaps though, the ones that have it the hardest are the ones who rarely speak up, as one single mother was particularly alarmed. “What is going to happen the next time UCLA or USC comes into Memorial. I have children to worry about; I believe QB Levy can better defend the homeland against these nefarious threats. Regardless of his moral character we need leaders who can defend the homeland.”

Governor Tedford meanwhile promised he knew what was best. Political pundits say that remains to be seen. A misadventure 2,500 miles away from home soil is one thing, a defeat on native soil could finally force democratic reform.

Recent satellite imagery shows a heavy buildup of military forces in Minnesota pointed west. The Territory is believed to be ill equipped to repel an attack at this time. Though one high ranking official who spoke on the condition of anonymity because he is not allowed to discuss military issues with the press, says the Territory is more than ready to meet force with force, and, defeat Minnesota if need be. He added that the Governor had just appointed a QB to lead the potential operation.

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ELECTIONS IMMINENT